I went to court today regarding an aspect of my divorce. I lost, but that doesn’t affect the balance of my happiness. It is a page in a book, but not even a whole chapter.
I was taken to court over money. What I came to understand is, that besides the literal transference of money, it wasn’t really about money. It was about perception. I learned a lot and what I learned made me sad. Arguments were made that I conspired to defraud, take advantage of and conspire in order to obtain more money. When more money was awarded to me as interest in the transference of retirement, I was surprised. It never entered my thought that I would get more money allotted to me and I said “thank you” to the universe and moved on. I never attached any emotional attachment to it, except gratitude that it presented itself to me. It demonstrated that money can come into your life in unexpected ways. It opened me up to the possibility that the FLOW of money can come in just as easily as it can flow out. My internal happiness is not metered by how much money I have, attain, or will attain. My happiness or fulfillment begins and ends within myself, knowing myself, and accepting myself for who I am.
Am I upset or unhappy that I lost about $6000? Money doesn’t define me or control me, so it cannot affect my happiness. It is an unfortunate turn of events, but why should I allow this to affect my core? I never expected the money, never plotted to get it, so I am ok with not having it. Life is so much more than $6000. It that was what he needed to move forward, then I am glad he got it.
I have been able to move past resentment, frustration and anger. It is not the baggage that I want to bring forward with me into the future. I am at peace with myself with everyone connected with this process. Peace begins within and extends outward. One must be at peace inside before one can stretch a hand outward toward another. Receiving can happen when we extend both arms wide, hands open, ready for what comes. Nothing can come to clenched, closed hands. Remember, there is a lesson in everything. Remaining open, allows room for it to unfold.
Time for tea and some quiet time…