Seed Collecting

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it was to blossom.

Anais Nin

School started last week for Mina. She began Kindergarten and I got some quiet time in the mornings again. I had forgotten what it was like to enjoy a cup of tea, sit outside and listen to the simple sounds of the morning: the birds, the wind, the last songs…I thought of all the thing I needed to do and I chose to do NONE of them. I took the time to collect seeds.

Last year, it was my morning ritual to collect seeds in the morning, grounding myself for the day ahead. Somehow along the way, I had lost that habit as life got busy. It is in those busy moments of life that stopping to collect seeds is most important. There are so many metaphors for me around seeds, seed collecting, blooming and life. These particular seeds are from one special garden, my Ex’s Grandmother’s summer house on the coast of Turkey. I love the flowers because they represent the variety of life within each of us. Let’s say that each plant is a little world unto itself. Each flower is it’s own individual design, completely random, completely wonderful. Together, the flower’s differences make their world so much more wonderful. Once the flowers bloom and die, they each leave a seed, a piece of themselves to create another beautiful world somewhere else.

When I stop to collect these seeds, it is a reminder that we all have our moments to bloom and there are times that seem so difficult like a sprout bursting from the hard shelled seed. There is a passage from my book, Mostly Happy, that I want to share that follows this theme:

March 19, 2011

What am I doing? I am sitting at the table staring blankly at the computer screen with my head in my hands. I am feeling paralyzed and immobile. Mina is in the bath and I have can’t bring myself to do anything except  sit here and stare at this computer. Doubts creep in and stir up my insides.

As I sit here and write, I can see all our little seeds sprouting. Some just push right up, ready and willing. That arugula zipped right out of its seeds and is having a party! Others were planted upside down and seem to have had a harder time. Right now, I feel like the second type of seed. I am ready to burst free, but Damn!, what’s all this dirt that I have to dig through? On top of that, who is this little girl who sprinkled eggshells all over the dirt? Once through the dirt, I still…must…navigate…sharp shells! Somehow these seeds do it each and every time. It is so instinctual.

Life can be hard and there are times when it seems as if those tiny pieces of eggshells are as big as Everest, but we make through and come out the other side, stronger and more beautiful than before. Follow your instinct, listen to your “gut” and your “flower” will bloom your beauty, enriches the world around you.


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