It is a cloudy quiet day and I am enjoying its stillness as I listen to Enya on Pandora Radio. My head is finally clear after so long and I can hear myself, the leaves rustling and the quiet morning crickets singing to my vegetables.
It became suddenly apparent to me that as soon as I began to actively unplug from all the stimuli around me, I could really hear the sound of my own voice and listen to my soul talking. Looking back over a 10 year marriage, I can see that I did NOT want to listen to those warning bells in my brain. I did NOT want to hear the soft messages that I was not living my truth, not engaging in my own life, not listening to the quietness inside me, guiding me to my best self, my best path.
I clearly remember not being comfortable with silence. When my then-husband was at work and I was home alone, I would have the TV on all day. My channel of choice: TNT. From morning until evening, I would begin with Law and Order and end the day with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I could not, would not allow quiet to penetrate.
Last year, when I began the divorce, I needed time and space to collect my thoughts and reconnect to what I needed, for myself this time. Any sort of electronic went off, lights low, TV and laptop disconnected, etc. Finally, Finally, I was able to listen to my soul talk and actively take a step back toward myself. Mina was able to feel the release as well. Finding her center, she would free herself through dancing and spinning like Whirling Dervish, connecting herself to the loving energy around her.
Growth happens when you allow yourself to close your eyes, open your heart and listen to the quiet voice who really really knows you, knows you from deep inside you…and reminds you of you are supposed to be.